the_merriest | The Way Back to 429, Post-Vortex

"I am affecting you," she said softly, pulling his arms around her and stopping them both for just a moment. "And how do you know he won't ... freak, if he knows my past? I mean. We knocked down a government. I was executed for treason. I could be ... I don't know. Convincing you of all kinds of anti-government ... stuff. Bad influence. Whatever you want to call it."

"Because he's known for months now that you and I've been seein' one another. By now, he probably knows it all anyhow, and he'd have brought me home in a flash if he was concerned."

He shrugged again.

"Right now, this is more a test to see how much he can trust me to be honest with him, Rikku. Not you."

"You trust him," she said carefully. "He'd protect you, and Rude, and the newbie." The one whose name she didn't remember, dammit. "I have no reason to. I can't. He ... he doesn't know me, he doesn't owe me anything. If he thought I was bad for you ..."

She let out a breath again. And her voice, when it came, was barely audible.

"He called me mom."

Not Tseng, no.

Edited 2008-04-29 18:35 (UTC)

Reno nodded faintly. That moment. Where they whispered between themselves, and both of them were crying.

There was more 'family' between Rikku and Rede than there was between Reno and Rede, and Reno knew it.

"You're the closest he ever had," he said, tightening his arms around her. "Maybe he'll find somethin' half as good when he gets outta there."

Not if. Not allowed to think if. If right now would kill them both.

"He will," she said, squeezing hard and trying not to start crying again. Failing at that, mostly. "H-he'll have you, and Rude, and you know damn well you're gonna make sure he's fed and safe and loved."

No crying. Not crying. Mostly not crying. "Wh-why did you say ... Ruba's not gonna happen?"

"Because I'd have to be a pretty sick fuck to bring someone as beautiful as Ruba into the kind of life she'd be stuck with if she had me as a dad."

Wouldn't that be something, on, like, career day at school?

'My daddy is a fireman!' 'My daddy is a doctor!' 'My daddy goes to work an' kills people an' crushes cities!'

Functional family unit, right there. Poor kid.

"Ruba was.. too happy to be the kind of girl whose father is tangled up in all this other bullshit. Her Reno must've had some way out. I dunno."

He paused, shut his eyes, and dammit, he wasn't going to cry, here, too. "I want her back."

"She was happy," Rikku said, holding him close. "O-ours and ... happy. And maybe that sounds b-boring to you, being settled down somewhere, but it sounded ... beautiful. To me. She wanted to kill monsters and steal their stuff and then go for cookies."

Reno shook his head quickly.

"No, not boring. Doesn't sound boring," he said.

Well. A little boring. But only if it was, like, picket fence kinda shit. So not his shtick.

"She- really? Monsters?" He grinned faintly, at that. "She, uh. She wanted to tickle everyone on the planet, for 'world dompinayshun.' And then make 'em give us ice cream and cookies."

"She wanted to take down a behemoth and be a bad-ass fighter chick," Rikku said, grinning. "I think maybe we didn't do the overprotective thing, with her."

"Speak for yourself," Reno replied, and that faint grin was a little less faint, there. "She, uh."

He blinked, and then he proceeded to look a little baffled, then.

"When she found me? She snuck into my room, and she crawled into bed with me. Just cuddled up all cozy-like."

So, so baffled. "Do kids really do that? I mean... Really?"

"Snuggle?" Rikku asked, smiling. "You bet they do. Bayla only really stopped bouncing when we got her to curl up. She probably does that a lot. Wakes up in her bed and comes to stay in ours for a bit."

Well. She happened to know for a fact that Renos were cozy.

"A lot? Really? That's, like... A common... whatever?" That had to sink in for a moment, there. "...Whoa."

Was it apparent that Reno's experience with kids was zip? It was? Oh, good.

It was also apparent that Reno hadn't had a very snuggly childhood himself, which Rikku had ... mostly suspected, but it was still a little heartbreaking.

"You were all warm and safe," Rikku explained, settling into his arms. "Probably climbs onto your lap and falls asleep there, too. She loves you."

"She..." Whoa. "I love her too," he mumbled, pressing his face into her hair and closing his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Okay. "I miss her. And I got no idea how someone so..."

Innocent. Happy. Beautiful. Perfect.

"So fragile could feel... I dunno. Safe. Like that."

"With you?" she said softly. "I'm not surprised at all. She knows nothing in the world can hurt her, or Daddy will beat it to a pulp. She knows you'd do anything for her."

That had been obvious from the look on his face, whenever he held her.

"Yeah," he agreed, and he was smiling again. "I would."

He had to gather as much of Rikku as was possible into his arms now, and hold her close, and maybe never let go. Because there'd been too much letting go, tonight.

"I want her back."

"Me too," Rikku said, trying not to sniffle again dammit and squeezing him harder. "I w-want ..."

Can't say that. Would scare him and he'd leave and he'd stare at you funny and and and --

"I w-want her. And u-us and whatever life she has and I want all of that and I don't care, I do."

He didn't run away.

At that particular moment, he was too busy squeezing the crap out of her and trying not to break down and cry again to even think that he should be running away.

Because... Because, dammit, he... he wanted that, too, whatever that was. And wouldn't run from it, and shouldn't have let them leave, and and and...

"E muja oui," he murmured.

Edited 2008-04-30 05:58 (UTC)

Her shoulders were shaking and she felt her eyes burn as she pulled him closer, he couldn't get closer, he had to get closer a-and he said ...

"E-e muja oui, duu," she managed, and she was sniffling on his jacket and she didn't care. "Y-you ..."

She leaned up and covered his mouth with hers. See, they could get closer, after all.

They could. This was a very nice level of close, standing outside and kissing in the rain.

Very fitting, wasn't it? The rain?

It made everything colder. Maybe when they were finished kissing, he'd offer her his jacket. When they were finished crying against one another's lips.

The rain made it seem less lonely, with tears falling down. The sky and the island and the rest of the world was crying, that stupid vortex was crying, for a Rede that had to carry a gun and a list back home and a Payido who lived on the beaches of Mexico and a Ruba who she wanted for her very own, consequences be damned.

For their very own. Curly red hair and raspberries and snuggles and strange and crazy and perfect and theirs.

"C-can we ... go inside?" she asked. Please? If kissing helped then more kissing would only help more. Right?

"We can go inside," he agreed, and inside was reasonably nearby, so he'd just keep his arms around her and they could walk back to the dorms together that way.

Inside, and out of the rain, and up the stairs to his room, where they could kiss some more after the traditional pause at the door to fumble with his keys.

His hands were cold. It had been raining out.

Oh, hell. The keys could wait a moment. He had to kiss her some more.

Stupid that they couldn't just lean against the door hard enough to will it down, and she pulled him against her and both of them against the door and if his hands were cold they should be on her skin, she could warm them up, and he could warm her up, and that should involve getting these wet clothes off, shouldn't it? Stupid door and stupid rain and stupid everything except Ruba and standing here with him. And Rede. And Payido. And if she thought about all her little ones she would cry again. They could pretend it was more rain falling. She wouldn't tell if he wouldn't.

He wouldn't tell. What they were doing, crying against one another's mouths, arms knotted around one another-

It was more rain. It had all been rain, today. Puddles and splashing and drowning.

Reno wouldn't tell. He would hold her tight and kiss her and not tell anyone at all.

They needed to be inside. Needed to be naked and warm and wrapped around each other and drowning. They needed --

"Phone," Rikku gasped abruptly, breaking the kiss and pulling back. "You need ... phone."

She slipped one of her hands back to find his, and peel the keys out of them. She could open the door. He had to use his phone. Now. Immediately. Five minutes ago.

If there was even a chance that Rede was out there somewhere, and they were just standing here kissing ...

Edited 2008-04-30 19:07 (UTC)

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