The Way Back to 429, Post-Vortex

[the_merriest]

Two daughters, very different, both gone. One wee Turk, not hers in any sense, gone as well.

Rikku was walking back to the dorms, very, very slowly. And trying not to sniffle quite so much. And failing.

She reached over, almost instinctively, for Reno's hand.

(for the modded one)

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[raspberryturk]

"I have to be," he managed, somewhere between a choke and a hiccup that he couldn't quite wrestle back. If he cried some more against her, it wouldn't matter. They were both wet anyhow. So much rain, today.

He would have to be looking for Rede. There was no way that any Reno out there would say no.

Because... Because Rede was his son, damn it.

[the_merriest]

"You are," Rikku said. "No matter where or who you are, yeah? He's yours so you'll protect him. You and Rude both."

And maybe this Tseng, too. He'd snapped to attention when Reno had started talking about clones and children. She didn't entirely trust him yet but she was willing to believe Reno was right about him. Maybe.

[raspberryturk]

"Kid's in good hands," Reno replied. Tiredly, with a bit of a nod, shutting his eyes.

He was going to be pathetic and stupid and weak for a moment, here. He'd get over it, honest. He just needed this one moment. One moment to stop thinking about the what ifs, and he'd be fine again.

[the_merriest]

She kissed his hair, gently. He should take two moments. Maybe five. Five was a good number. She was here, for the night, and she'd never tell.

He'd gained a family and had them plucked right out of his arms again. That wasn't weak, to feel it as it hit you right in the gut.

Payido. Ruba. Rede. Even if Rede wasn't hers.

[raspberryturk]

He sucked at this. This whole, 'losing family' deal. Was pretty new at it. Never had much of one to start with. So, shouldn't be so huge, right? Like a band-aid. Rip it off and suck it up, and the sting should be going away any freaking moment now, right?

It wasn't. This sucked.

So... maybe he'd press himself a little closer against her and move up some and wrap his arms around her and cling to her for dear life. Just until his head was working again, of course.

[the_merriest]

Harder when you didn't have anyone to lose, before. Also harder when you kept losing people, and expected to be numb to it, but weren't.

Maybe it was always hard.

She rested her cheek against the smooth plane of his forehead, then turned to press her lips against it.

"You'll find him," she murmured. Whichever Reno could, would. It was that simple.

[raspberryturk]

That prompted him to hold on even more tightly.

"Somewhere out there, he's gotta find me, first."

But. But if that happened, then yeah. Yeah, he'd find him. He'd tear apart all of fucking Gaia to find him. Kid would be found.

[the_merriest]

"He's got a gun and your phone number," she said calmly. "He's a Turk. What more does he need? That guy is toast."

Seriously. Stick Reno somewhere, give him a gun and a list of numbers. Kill anybody between you and the phone. It was cake.

[raspberryturk]

Reno... wasn't going to point out that Rede had been a Turk for all of three days. And that in those three days, he'd been... coddled mercilessly, for a Turk, really.

Because doing so meant admitting it. And Reno was so very not able to admit it.

"He's a Turk," he agreed. Because if he didn't agree, He was going to lose it and crack again.

[the_merriest]

"He's ... yours," she said, gently, afraid the words would break. Afraid they'd break him. "Yours and Rude's. He's got instincts and training. They've trained him themselves, haven't they? One mission, then he gets to retire. He can do it. I believe in him."

[raspberryturk]

"If they trained him, the only thing he'll do that they won't expect is actually have a gun on him," Reno said. And then he tilted his head and pressed his face into her shoulder and sighed.

"Maybe that'll be enough. Who ever expects a seven year old kid to have a gun?"

... He hoped Rede didn't have to use it.

[the_merriest]

She hoped ... that if he did have to use it, he did so quickly and without hesitating. This Hojo sounded ruthless. Which meant Rede would have to be, as well.

"Should've given him a knife," she murmured, frowning at herself. "Back-up weapons. Just in case. I didn't even think of it."

[raspberryturk]

"I should'a thought of it, yoto. Or armor. Or anything. 'S just Rede and a little suit with a little necktie and a gun with however many shots in it. And."

Okay. Ragged breaths. Those were still classified as breathing. Good job, breathing.

"Should'a gone there with 'm."

[the_merriest]

"Element of surprise," she offered. It was something, wasn't it? "They won't think he's armed. He won't need armor or back-ups. He just needs to find a phone and point the gun a-at anyone who tries to stop him."

She tried to sound like she believed that. She hoped. She had faith. She did.

"I don't think it would let you. Go through with him." Selfish, horrible, awful to add the rest, she wouldn't. She. "A-and maybe you couldn't have come back, if you did."

[raspberryturk]

"Would've found my way back. Maybe Fandom's Fandom wherever you go. Maybe I should'a kept him here. Maybe. I don't know, Rikku." He shifted his weight again, sat up some, and then gathered her up in his arms. Being in a messed up heap against her was too different, too upside down for him. He had to just lean back and breathe and cling to her and breathe.

See, breathing. Breathing was helping. Somewhat.

"Can't make up my mind," he mumbled, "if it'd be better if Tseng never found somethin' here, zoto. Would be a lot of little lives that Hojo never got to fuck up. So maybe it's fuckin' selfish or somethin', that I want him to call back all, 'Oh, yeah, kid's in Kalm,' or Gongaga, or Corel or wherever. So that I can fuckin' skip off myself and grab him and know there's a Rede somewhere who's gonna be okay."

[the_merriest]

"I don't think you can keep them," she said, shaking her head. "You have to believe. You have to hope. That's all you can do."

She snuggled into his chest. "Y-you have to let go. Like I have to be okay with n-never seeing Bayla again and not knowing if that means she's .... gone. And wondering if Payido's gonna stop existing some time. That's ... when you love people, you have to know that ... at any second they could just, poof, be gone. That's ... what happens."

To everyone, sooner or later, and usually sooner at that.

[raspberryturk]

"Everyone's just as likely to stop bein' there as everyone else." He nodded faintly and held her close and sighed. It was a tired, heavy sigh. He knew. Of course he knew.

Still sucked. Losing family wasn't quite the same as dealing with the Turk mortality rate, here.

"Figures."

[the_merriest]

She shook her head. No time for her own sorrows, they were trying to find Rede. All of that could wait.

"So your boss ... he's looking up something? Does he think he can find him? Is he gonna call, or ... ?"

[raspberryturk]

"He's lookin' to see if Rede's even possible in this reality," he replied, shutting his eyes and shrugging a shoulder. "He'll call back in a few hours or whatever. Whenever he finds somethin', yo."

[the_merriest]

"Okay," she said calmly. "Then we wait."

She sat silent for a few seconds, trying not to fidget. Failing, mostly.

"We could play cards?" she offered, her lips turned up in a slight smile.

[raspberryturk]

"Cards?" He opened his eyes again and raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips twitching upward faintly. "That'd pass the time, wouldn't it?"

Ah, Rikku.

[the_merriest]

"Well, I don't know how to juggle," she smiled. "And you don't seem to have any board games. You should get some. So we can play board games."

[raspberryturk]

"Never really played any board games," he mused. "What's all the draw for 'em, anyhow?"

He doubted that anyone had ever invented Strip-Hungry-Hungry-Hippos. But it'd be awesome if they did.

[the_merriest]

Rikku lifted a shoulder. "They're fun," she said. "You know. Roll a dice and move some spaces and then you land on my square and have to pay me money and I mock you a whole lot and then someone else steals from the bank and ... seriously? Never?"

[raspberryturk]

He scratched his head, thinking on it.

...

"Seriously, never."

Board games suggested there be some iota of 'cohesive recreational unit' going on, somewhere in the equation. Or quality time. Or something. "Might have to try one sometime, zoto."