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the_merriestYuna was busy, most of the time now. It had taken a couple of days of missed calls and overlapping travel for her to find her cousin, just to pass along the simple message -- that she and Reno had taken care of the fiend in the Bikanel desert.
Of course, if it had just been that, she could have left a message, but there was more. She needed to talk to Yuna. Really talk to her. About ... about a lot of things she never said, before.
She sat by the edge of the water, watching the waves lap up at the shore, and waited for her cousin to arrive.
(just for the NPC High Summoner, played by the delightful![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
weldedtomyspine. the couple of days delay is for legitimate IC reasons and not because I was running around IRL, serious >.> )
Of course, if it had just been that, she could have left a message, but there was more. She needed to talk to Yuna. Really talk to her. About ... about a lot of things she never said, before.
She sat by the edge of the water, watching the waves lap up at the shore, and waited for her cousin to arrive.
(just for the NPC High Summoner, played by the delightful
weldedtomyspine. the couple of days delay is for legitimate IC reasons and not because I was running around IRL, serious >.> )
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Date: 2011-02-01 01:12 am (UTC)It'd been way too long.
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Date: 2011-02-01 01:40 am (UTC)And so she had scrambled to her feet and had closed the distance herself, arms out for a rather epic sort of hug.
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Date: 2011-02-01 02:06 am (UTC)This day was so perfect!
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Date: 2011-02-01 02:24 am (UTC)This was a way better topic of conversation than the one she was kind of afraid of.
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Date: 2011-02-01 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 02:44 am (UTC)That was not all she needed to tell her cousin, but it was a good starting point, at least.
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Date: 2011-02-01 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 03:06 am (UTC)That much was true. The fiend had not hurt them. She was physically just fine.
That didn't really touch the past few days.
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Date: 2011-02-01 03:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 03:39 am (UTC)"I wish you hadn't asked me."
It was starker than she had intended. She had wanted to ease into it. And yet, there it was, flat and colorless.
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Date: 2011-02-01 03:41 am (UTC)"I... why not?"
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Date: 2011-02-01 04:00 am (UTC)She bit her tongue, hard, to stop her from saying anything else. She couldn't trust her words, right now.
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Date: 2011-02-01 04:03 am (UTC)"You never said anything."
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Date: 2011-02-01 04:28 am (UTC)"You never asked," Rikku pointed out. "You knew what happened there. You knew you were asking me to do. You said that in your letter. You were really sorry, but, you know, you wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
A fiend that was attacking exploration digs: important. Her feelings about going back to the site of her worst memory: not important.
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Date: 2011-02-01 04:35 am (UTC)"If it was a problem you should have said something."
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Date: 2011-02-01 04:51 am (UTC)"Why didn't it matter, to you?" she asked. "You were there, that day. Why would you think it was so ... trivial, to ask?"
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Date: 2011-02-01 05:00 am (UTC)Just...
Just...
Not as much as the world. Except that wasn't right. Rikku mattered so, so much.
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Date: 2011-02-01 05:18 am (UTC)Dealing with Yuna made everything all upside-down and topsy-turvy.
"Don't you ever get tired of it?"
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Date: 2011-02-01 05:33 am (UTC)"And... tired of what?" Yuna sounded confused, and she genuinely was. Because she wasn't supposed to get tired of it, so she never thought about whether she was or not.
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Date: 2011-02-01 05:50 am (UTC)"This," she said. "Deciding your personal life, your feelings don't matter. Deciding everyone else's shouldn't, either. Sacrificing everything for the end of the world, or just a monster going on the loose. It was just a fiend, Yunie. It was a bad one, but it was just a fiend. Not Sin come back, not the forces of Bevelle, but a fiend."
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Date: 2011-02-01 05:57 am (UTC)But Rikku's mattered.
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Date: 2011-02-01 07:45 am (UTC)She was horrible, for saying any of this to Yuna. She was the worst Guardian ever. And yet, she couldn't stop herself from continuing.
"A-and that's still better than when ... I think you do know, and you just don't care."
... Yuna was going to hate her. Yuna couldn't possibly hate her more than she hated herself, right now.
The worst part was how relieved she felt, just to have those awful things hanging in the air like that.
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Date: 2011-02-01 06:25 pm (UTC)Okay. Maybe a tiny little sniffle.
"Maybe... maybe you're right," she managed to get out around the lump in my throat. "Maybe I ask too much of you..."
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Date: 2011-02-03 07:24 pm (UTC)She needed a few seconds not to say the one thing that had been on her mind for years, now. And then she realized she didn't care if she did say it.
"Did you think about what it would be like for me?" she asked. "An Al Bhed, on a Yevonite pilgrimage? Knowing how Wakka felt about the Al Bhed?"
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Date: 2011-02-05 05:21 am (UTC)Which was an answer in and of itself, really.
Her eyes welled up. How could she have been so... blind?