MHA #1, Late-ish Sunday Night

[the_merriest]

MHA #1 looked a bit like a crime scene. One that had been hit by a tornado.

At the eye of the storm -- at the very still center of the overturned furniture and piles of strewn-about clothing and whipped-cream and chocolate-syrup stains -- were two figures, lying on the floor.

Neither of whom could move.

"Okay," Rikku managed, very, very weakly. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't think I want any more sex."

She was starting to chafe.

(for her Turk. other people can call if they want, but please do not come visit, as they are unable to get the door.)

Comments

[raspberryturk]

...

...

...

"... Yep."

Reno was very much in agreement, just this once. He'd been starting to think it somewhere around the time they'd swapped the melted paraffin for the whipped cream, but he was way too damn proud to ever admit to that sort of thing. And, well, he was still in the mood. Even if he kind of felt like dying.

"Definitely done for the night," he added, a moment later.

[the_merriest]

That was the problem, wasn't it? Some of her still wanted to. A part of her that was not her body. Her body was going to lie here, stuck to the floor, until ...

She couldn't think of a good "until." Eventually, she would need to pee. And she was hungry. Why couldn't there be food right here? Falling into her mouth, so she didn't have to move at all.

She would probably still have to chew and swallow. Damn.

"My back hurts," she said. "Why does my back hurt?"

Every part of her ached, but there was a special twinge in the middle of her back that suggested she'd done something especially bad to it. Ugh.

[raspberryturk]

"You don't wanna know what of mine hurts," Reno shared.

Being buried under the collapsed overpass had kind of been a step up from this. He wasn't going anywhere. Possibly until he absolutely had to, on Tuesday, for class.

And even then, it was a tough call.

"... You ever notice that stain on the ceiling up there?"

Reno hadn't. Maybe they'd just put that there themselves. It had been a pretty wild day.

[the_merriest]

Rikku squinted up at it, trying to make her eyes focus. They were heavy and they kind of itched. This might take a few seconds.

"Nope," she said. "Maybe there's water damage? Apartment above us spilled something?"

Yes. Very likely.

"We're going to have to clean."

Why didn't Fandom have a maid service? She would pay someone millions of gil to make the apartment clean again. Bonus pay if they worked around her, so she didn't have to get off the floor.

[raspberryturk]

Double-pay if they didn't mind that Reno and Rikku both were going to just be laying there in the complete and total nude, because they weren't even going to bother getting dressed for the maid service. The one that sadly didn't exist.

"Yep. Sooner or later. Or we can wait for Petey and Mako to lick the whipped cream offa the walls."

Because whipped cream was awesome for cats and ferrets, sure.

[the_merriest]

Shit. Petey. Mako. And Bob the duck. They had to be somewhere in this mess, didn't they?

"I don't want to know what they're doing," Rikku decided. Because, well. She couldn't get to them to stop it anyhow.

If the maid objected, she could drop a sheet over them. Rikku wasn't moving. So there, nonexistent maid.

"You don't have any Clean-This-Up-Pronto materia, do you?" she asked hopefully.

What? It could exist.

[raspberryturk]

Reno considered that thoughtfully for a moment.

"I bet Leviathan could do it," he noted.

Because that was totally what Wutaian summon-deities were for.

[the_merriest]

Rikku glanced over at Reno -- which required some minor movement, which just showed how impressed he was -- and gave him the biggest set of PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE doe-eyes she had.

"I will do absolutely anything you want," she said. "Anything."

And then, all things considered, "Tomorrow."

If the swelling had gone down by then.

[raspberryturk]

Reno pursed his lips a little in the direction of the ceiling.

He bet Rude could probably get his hands on some Leviathan materia if Reno could get as far as his phone, and make an emergency call, and maybe bribe him with... with something... good.

Normally, he'd tease Rude that he was going to bribe him with hookers or blow jobs or something, but even thinking about those things made things that already hurt, hurt just a little more.

"I'll try an' get Rude to send me the materia," he decided, after a moment. He'd figure out what the hell to bribe him with later. "... Tomorrow."

This 'tomorrow' thing was going to be a trend.

[the_merriest]

Rikku flopped back onto the ground with a melodramatic sigh.

"I thought you had it," she said. "Tomorrow doesn't count."

There was no way they could leave the place looking like this overnight. Maybe they could soak the pets in Windex and let them run free!

[raspberryturk]

Oh. Well. In that case...

"... Turk Light?"

Yes. Reno could burn the apartment down. That would solve the whipped cream issue in a pinch.

[the_merriest]

There were a few seconds of complete silence.

"Wouldn't we have to move out of the way?"

And they'd probably get evicted. That, too. But Rikku had priorities, right now.

[raspberryturk]

Reno considered that for a moment, too. Damn, this was tough.

"Depends what armor we got on," he decided.

She had fire-eater on hers, right? And he... Well. He'd have a pretty shitty day, since his was all lightning, all the time.

[the_merriest]

Rikku was squinting at the ceiling, trying to think.

"I don't think we have any status ailments," she said. She could think of a few useful mixes, if they did, but ...

"I think we're ... gonna have to actually get up and fix this."

Er.

"Tomorrow."

[raspberryturk]

"Tomorrow," Reno agreed, half sitting up, realizing that this was a serious lapse in judgment, and then falling backwards again. "Definitely tomorrow, zoto."

[the_merriest]

Okay, good. She was just going to ... lie here. In the meantime. And not move again, ever.

".... It was awesome, though."

Seriously. Totally worth it.