"Go on, let Mako down. Chicken's not on the floor, this time."
Reno leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, shutting his eyes and taking a moment to breathe before he got to the rest of it.
"Gotta feel it, yeah. Bein' with you means I'm livin', and livin' means feelin', and feelin' means that it has this way of always creepin' up and makin' me acknowledge it. I mean... not just it. Lotta things I done that I ain't at all proud of. That one's kinda the one that drowns all that other shit out."
A pause. Short, thoughtful. He had to give her a bit of a squeeze before he let go so that she could put down Mako.
"Stuff like this? Just talkin' and acknowledgin' all of it? That helps. I didn't let myself talk about any of it before. Easier to run and drown in booze and kill myself over it than it was to stop and face it down and admit that... You know."
That he was a heartless mass-murderer and there was no way to make any of what he'd done go away.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-07-25 05:21 pm (UTC)Reno leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, shutting his eyes and taking a moment to breathe before he got to the rest of it.
"Gotta feel it, yeah. Bein' with you means I'm livin', and livin' means feelin', and feelin' means that it has this way of always creepin' up and makin' me acknowledge it. I mean... not just it. Lotta things I done that I ain't at all proud of. That one's kinda the one that drowns all that other shit out."
A pause. Short, thoughtful. He had to give her a bit of a squeeze before he let go so that she could put down Mako.
"Stuff like this? Just talkin' and acknowledgin' all of it? That helps. I didn't let myself talk about any of it before. Easier to run and drown in booze and kill myself over it than it was to stop and face it down and admit that... You know."
That he was a heartless mass-murderer and there was no way to make any of what he'd done go away.