the_merriest | The Way Back to 429, Post-Vortex

"No idea." He looked at the clock. Well. That had been a wonderful ten minutes since the call. "Gotta be plenty to do, right? I mean there's-" Not drinking. First on the list, first to get the veto. "-I got cards. Or-" Porn was the next one to get the veto. "-We could spar or watch a movie or somethin'."

Reno's list of things to do was small when sex and booze were stricken from it.

Rikku wriggled around to look at Reno, an amused smile playing on her lips. "Serious question. Do you own any movies that aren't porn?"

"Are there movies that aren't porn?"

He was joking. Of course.

"Nah. That's what the internet's for, anyhow. Got a copy of Loveless, but that ain't half as interesting as everyone says it is. Kinda preachy. Boring shit."

Blah blah blah the goddess blah blah nothing shall forestall my return blah blah. Reno had only picked it up because the title had seemed porny.

"Loveless?" Rikku quirked an eyebrow. "I don't think I've heard of it. And movies are out and I'm not in the mood to spar and this is making me think very pathetic things about us, if we can't amuse ourselves without sex."

"Loveless is a huge story from where I'm from, yo. Movie adaptations suck. Because, you know. Whole last chunk of the poem it's based on is missing."

Actually, the whole thing sucked. That was Reno's opinion. Bah. Literature. Too much hype over a bunch of stupid words, anyhow.

"We could just keep doin' what we're doin'," he mused. "Sittin' here, talking. I like hearin' you talk, zoto."

"Missing? Like, the guy never finished it, or it got lost somewhere? How do they make a movie out of it if they don't know how it ends? Just put a sign up with 'and here, make up the ending yourself, woo!' or what?"

Gaia was weird.

"I'm ... kinda glad you like hearing me talk," she admitted, blushing. "'Cause I do it a lot? And if you didn't, you'd probably be sick of me by now."

"Fade to black, whatever. Some people make up their own. Probably used to be a last act somewhere, but it disappeared or some shit, I got no clue. I don't read up on it, that shit's boring as hell anyhow."

Gaia was weird.

"You always got somethin' worth talking about. I don't think I'm gonna get sick of your voice anytime soon."

Her voice was cute. And hers. And all. He liked it.

Rikku smiled, faintly.

"So ... what happens if ... I mean." She cleared her throat. "What do you do when Tseng calls back? If ..."

"I go get'im."

Reno's reply didn't require thought. Or the rest of the question, apparently. "After that, I dunno. But... Gotta get him if Tseng finds him, zoto."

"I know that," she said, turning to snuggle in again. "I mean ... would he stay with you? Or Rude? You ... probably can't keep a kid in the dorms, yoto."

It was very, very selfish that she was suddenly realizing he might have to leave Fandom to take care of Rede. She wasn't going to think about that.

She was going to try not to.

Reno lifted a shoulder and shook his head.

"I dunno," he admitted. "Wasn't really planning on finding out that I was cloned by a psycho professor or anything. I, uh. Don't know what I'd do with a kid. I mean, shit. I'm still one, myself. Not ready to be a... dad. Or whatever."

"No," she said. "But ... I think you'd do fine with it. I-if you have to, I mean. He'll be okay. You'll figure it out. And ... if I can help ... somehow?"

She wasn't sure how. She couldn't leave school to help him raise Rede. But ... Rede had called her mom.

"You could, uh-" No, he really had no idea how to finish that sentence. "There's always Rude. I mean, until my assignment here ends or whatever. He'd be good with Rede, I think. Kid's his, too."

He paused, considered, and then shook his head.

"Kid's a Turk. So the Turks'll take care of him. Easy."

"Summer's kinda optional, here," she said, lifting a shoulder. "I mean, there are workshops but some people just go home. You could take off, get him settled in, that kinda thing, yeah? I mean, your assignment can ... be put on hold for a few weeks."

She was not going to offer to go to Gaia with him. Besides, he hadn't indicated that she'd be invited. And that was crazy. Right.

He tightened his arms around her and sighed.

"Like I said, I dunno what I'd do. Might figure it out or somethin', but you were better with him than I was. I think he'd be happier to see you than me, if it came down to it."

Reno, after all, was the one who told him he had to go back.

"You're the Turk, not me," she smiled, leaning her head against his chest. It made his voice echo through his torso and tickled her ears. "Not the same. You had to give orders, I'm the one who got to hand out the hugs. He idolized you, y'know."

"Yeah, well. Given the choice between orders from Reno and hugs from Rikku, I think the preference is a bit of a no-brainer, yoto."

Rikku was very good at hugs, dammit.

"Few hugs'd probably do the kid good, after whatever the hell we'd be pullin' him from."

"You can give him hugs, too," she reminded him. "You're good at them. You were good with all the little ones this weekend. Protective a-and ... kids really just need, you know. To be safe, and fed, and loved. The rest is details. I mean. There's lots you can screw up but I don't think anybody gets it perfect, you know? So long as they've got somewhere warm to sleep and food in their bellies and hugs and kisses for scraped knees ..."

She trailed off, not wanting to think about how few of those Reno must have had, himself.

Reno listened quietly as she spoke. And then he nodded. A little.

"He'd be good with Rude," he said, repeating himself now maybe just for the sake of saying words. "Kid's half his, and... Turk's a Turk. Rede'd be good an' safe with Rude, or whoever. Fed good. Shit like that."

Turk's a Turk.

"You'd be a good dad," she insisted, shifting position so she could look at him. "You would. A-and he'd be taken care of and you'd love him a-and if you ..."

Deep breath. Mouth open and words wouldn't come out. Come on, Rikku.

"If you w-wanted me ... to ... to c-come --"

And that would be Reno's phone, ringing.

She closed her eyes and flopped back against his chest, relieved something had cut her off before she got completely insane.

Stupid phone. Stupid phone calling in the middle of Rikku talking and Reno wanted to throw it, except that meant not finding out about Rede. But he wasn't sure he wanted to know about Rede, because finding out if Rede was out there somewhere meant that he'd have to take off right the fuck now, and finding out that he wasn't meant that he'd have to ... something. He wasn't sure what. But the thought made his guts do somersaults either way.

He curled one arm around Rikku again, took a deep breath, and flipped open his phone.

"Yo, boss."

Her stomach was full of lead and she didn't even know what to wish for. If Rede was here, then Reno had to go be his father, and if he wasn't, they'd never know for sure, and either answer was going to ...

No. Rede was more important than any of that, all of that.

Please let Tseng be calling back to say they found him, Rude was in that chopper right now to pick him up and she'd help Reno pack and maybe take off for some of the summer to help him get settled in if Reno wanted her to and they'd know he was okay, and that Hojo bastard was dead. Please?

You could have heard a pin drop over how shallow Reno was breathing, how quietly he was grunting his affirmatives to Tseng. He'd nod now and then, toss in an 'mm' for good measure, and close his eyes and listen.

It wasn't a long phone call, really. And Reno forgot to thank Tseng before he hung up. And he was very quiet after the call ended, too.

"Tseng looked. Rude looked. There ain't no way those DNA samples were ever in Hojo's hands. Rede can't be out there. Kid don't exist, in this reality."

It all came out pretty numbly. He'd barely been aware that his lips were moving. And now he would like to maybe just close his eyes and go totally blank for a while.

Just quiet enough that you could hear his heart break.

She sat up, turning so she could wrap her arms around him completely and squeeze and bury her face in the side of his neck and hold on for dear life and wish there was something more she could do, or say, or something.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he decided, letting the phone fall to the bed so that he could wrap his other arm around her and bury his face in her hair and breathe her in and try for the life of him to figure out why it felt like he had to choke up his guts just so that he'd be able to inhale again. Make room, or whatever. "Kid deserves... deserved..."

He shrugged. There wasn't a thought there, beyond maybe that Reno could have somehow done more, or shouldn't have send Rede back, or any one of a million things that he'd said already anyhow.

"S' for the best."

And maybe it even was.

The Way Back to 429, Post-Vortex

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