"You haven't," he sighed, and maybe she'd hear the light sloshy 'thump' of the bottle rolling out of his hands and onto the floor. "I mean. I know you hate what I do, hate what they make me do. Would probably make your day, if I wasn't this. Or... Somethin' like that."

He wasn't going to get up just yet. Wasn't going to look up, either. Sitting there was just fine, for now.

"I know it don't make no sense. I can't take me and see me without bein' that other kid instead, and you're not gonna take off just because I'm... Whatever I'd be. Without the Turks. Probably won't even ever be that kid again. It's just... me bein' stupid. I know."