Rikku tried to take an unsteady breath and figure out how to tell him ...

"If you ..." Deep breath. "I hate that you ... I mean. I'm not ... glad that you ... felt like that? That's ... it sounds all wrong, and I don't know how to say it, but ..."

Okay. Words, Rikku. Pick some.

"If you had said that ... when I left, it was right back to ... not caring. Wishing you were dead? I'd ... I'd wonder if there was ... any point to this at all."