the_merriest | Room 308, Sunday Afternoon

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Room 308, Sunday Afternoon

Ugh, life was just getting weirder and weirder. It was almost Valentine's Day again, and she didn't want to think about that, and what the hell was going on with Reno anyway, and some crazy guy grabbed Luke and hurt him but she wasn't allowed to go postal on whoever it was and her classes were so weird and and and ....

She was just going to sit here and take apart her laptop again. Not the one she used, the spare she got. It got a little stranger every time she put it back together, and the growing pile of missing pieces got funnier-looking, but that was part of the fun, right?

(Door and post wide open.)

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"Is this a trauma thing or a girlfriend-y thing?" Rikku asked. "Cause if it's like, stuff burned down and I have to move on, that's one thing, but if it's a dumped thing, that's totally, totally different."

"It's girlfriend-related," he sighed. "So she dumped me?" Wow, he needed to pay better attention.

Blink. "No? I was ... asking. Uh. You said it like she .... whoa. Okay. Start over, yeah? I mean, what'd she actually say?"

"It's bad that I'm not exactly sure, isn't it?" John asked. "Basically I'm a screw up and I don't know how to deal with her getting kidnapped and not wanting me to do anything about it."

"It's ... not great," she admitted. "I've been there, though. Uh. The not sure if you're split up or not." She shivered. "Is this about ... Luke and the Jedi-thing? I'm not allowed to go beat people up or whatever, dammit."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm not allowed and I'm not capable. But more's the point that I'm not necessary." He picked at the hem of his pants.

Rikku waited for a second before asking, very softly, "Did ... she say that?"

"Not outright," John clarified. "But it was generally implied." At least as far as he was concerned.

Rikku bit her lip. "Jude ... used to ..."

She sighed, pulling her knees up and hugging them. "I used to go off to save the world now and again. And he'd have to stay behind. It always bothered him, that he couldn't come along. And I'd have to come back and promise him I wouldn't leave him for a fighter when all I wanted to do was just ... find a warm place to let myself fall apart."

He hadn't meant to remind her of Jude. "I don't know that she'd even need me afterwards."

"Of course she does," Rikku said. "Everybody needs people. I ... it took a while, to admit it. You get used to shrugging it off. Bad things happen, you cope, the end. Maybe it's not the same, what she needs and what I did, and maybe it's not as something that you're gonna realize means anything, but ... I dunno. Maybe she just needs you to be the one spot in her life that isn't completely insane."

John nodded, "See, now that makes sense. It's good I have friends who are smarter than I am. Enough about me though, tell me about your confusing things?"

Rikku lifted a shoulder. "I may be wrong. Just ... you know. If you were the one going 'hey, how do you feel about it?' and not 'grr, I kill' or something, maybe that's what she needs. It's way bigger than it sounds."

She laughed. "I, uh. I'm kinda ... I might be ... finally ... moving on, myself, from something that's been over a while? I think? I'm not sure. It's all confusing and this week being Valentine's just makes it all worse."

He'd been feeling a little bit better until she mentioned Valentine's. That was just gonna suck.

"Stupid holidays ruin so much. But hey, kudos to the positive moving on. Who's the happy-making lucky guy?"

Rikku blushed. "It's not ... like that. Uh. We're just ... we hang out. He kinda doesn't ... do the whole dating thing? But he's upfront about it, I mean, he's not some sleazy guy being all whatever. Uh. Have you met Reno?"

"I don't think I've met anyone," John admitted. "Dating's not all it's cracked up to be sometimes. I can see the benefits of keeping things casual."

"I've ... never done that," she admitted, a little awkwardly. "I mean, it was just Jude, and we were all ... you know. But I ... I kinda like what this is. It's way different, I mean, I wasn't expecting it, and I don't know what's going on, but ... I think maybe I'm just gonna see what happens. Maybe it doesn't have to BE SOMETHING and all that, right?"

"Right, it doesn't have be anything," John had experience that said otherwise, but he didn't want to burst any bubbles. "Just two people, hanging out. Enjoying each other's company and all."

Rikku nodded. "Yeah. That's ... I dunno. Maybe it'll go somewhere, maybe it won't. It just kinda snuck up on me, I guess." She smiled, faintly. "Listen, are you gonna ... go talk to her? She may not realize that you think ... all the stuff you're thinking."

It usually shocked the hell out of her when Jude felt useless. He was her rock.

"She seemed pretty mad," John told her. "We have class together tomorrow, so maybe I can try to talk to her there."

Rikku chewed her lip. "Maybe? Class kinda sucks for that kind of thing, but tomorrow is good. Where's not as important as what. Just ... you know. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her ... about all of this. Ask her what she needs from you, and see what she says. Yeah?"

Edited 2008-02-11 06:18 (UTC)

John should be taking notes. "Yeah, you know, it seems so simple but I get the feeling it's going to be complicated."

"It always is," she smiled. "But ... you know something crazy? No matter how scary or stupid it is, or how much you're going, that won't help ... just ... telling the other person what you're feeling? All the weird little squidgy bits? It usually helps. Really."

"Okay, I haven't actually told anyone this," John started, because really, if she was going to offer up advice, she should know what she's dealing with. "When she said, you know, that she like, loved me, I said I needed breakfast." And then there was cringing.

Rikku ... stared.

"Oh."

Rikku stared some more.

"Okay. When I said tell her everything? Maybe not so much."

John nodded. "Andrew helped me bake a cake to fix it."

"I'm just not...so good with those, you know, feeling things."

Rikku nodded quickly. "Yeah. That's ... I mean, at least she knows that, right? That you mean well and that you're ... you know. Trying. You can get better at stuff like that the more you do it. I suck way less at relationship stuff than I used to."

She still sucked, though. Just ... not half so badly as before.

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Room 308, Sunday Afternoon

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